Thursday, June 26, 2014

Vol. 183: Trigger Warning: Slenderman made Me do it

   Spread the Outrage. Spread the Truth.

Damien Hirst [5], The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living (1991)

Trigger Warning: May cause Outrage, Laughter and Enjoyment

     Greetings ladies and gentlemen, Republicans and Democrats, Independents and Bother-nots, cats and dog lovers, it has been a great sabbatical and much progress has been made on my novel, but sadly, trigger warnings do nothing to stop mass shootings, the spread of Jihad or the random acts of violence often accompanied with rumors of an online phantom-like entity known as Slenderman, all in a days work of corrupting the minds of the young and impressionable with diversions of perversion.  While many of you have pursued lives of agonizing frustration, consumed fragmentary moments of bliss, purchased fun new toys, witnessed car accidents or suffered through flooded and drained basements, followed only by meaningless posts on “the book,” we as a planet, as a community continue to move forward, in the only direction we know, but at what cost?

     Whether they are too fast or too slow, the atoms of time push onward, with little mention from the mass media about a political scandal the likes of which we haven’t seen since Watergate. As a result ladies and gentlemen, I am going to tell the IRS, if and when I receive an audit, (I'd like to imagine I'm important enough to be on their list) that I don’t feel the need to apologize for losing two years of tax return information. Everything, like the slow decay of decency and manners had crashed that Thursday afternoon when they arrived at my doorstep.
     All of this would of course lead this addled mind to believe that it is the powers that be, Obama his fellow Democrat leash holders and the Republican Party that are behind the curtains pulling the strings. Who else would want to bother the Tea-Party organizations? They were a serious threat to the power structure for a short time post-economic collapse. For it is becoming increasingly clear that Obama, the wolf in sheep's clothing according to Gary Younge of The Guardian, in “His second term has been characterised by a profound sense of drift in principle and policy. While posing as the ally of the immigrant he is deporting people at a faster clip than any of his predecessors; while claiming to be a supporter of labour he's championing trade deals that will undercut American jobs and wages.” That is a logical reason powerful Republicans have not come out vociferously in favor of a Whitewater style witch-hunt. They would rather hold their tongue and let the Obama administration do their dirty work for them.

     Speaking of witches and depending on who you talk to, can a grandmother run for the Presidency of the United States of Surveillance and have a chance at winning?
Bigger, badder, bolder and older than ever.
(Inset picture of Hilary Clinton) We are likely to find out soon enough.

     ISIS, it’s not just an Egyptian goddess or Bob Dylan song anymore, but a radical Sunni power grab in the vacuum left behind in Iraq after we deposed Saddam Hussein (for those that don't remember or who never cared to begin with, he was a Sunni). ISIS is a revolutionary radical Sunni sect bent on continuing the path back towards the Stone Age throughout Iraq and the rest of the Middle East. What ISIS has done is the unthinkable; it has brought the United States of Surveillance and Iran together in agreement. Oil executives and weapons manufacturers and smugglers the world over are applauding, hooting and hollering. 

     Ladies and gentlemen, what ever happened to the kidnapped girls in Nigeria? Attention deficit addled mainstream media, we thank you.
     A new study sponsored by Nasa's Goddard Space Flight Center has highlighted the prospect that global industrial civilization could collapse in coming decades due to unsustainable resource exploitation and increasingly unequal wealth distribution. Well, at least we will have that to look forward to.

     Although, you’d never know it by looking at the DOW Jones which is to hit a record 17k by next week sometime. Prosperity abounds and spreads like a cancer; embrace the new found wealth; live in it, roll in it, all that money, all that stuff.

But ask yourself this simple question, do you suffer from Stuffocation?

     British trend forecaster James Wallman has coined a new word: “Stuffocation.” (Think “stuff” and “suffocation.”) Wallman claims it’s one of the most crushing afflictions of modern society. Not only does the materialism it’s caused by have a disastrous ecological impact [2], the argument goes, it’s keeping us from leading more fulfilling lives.

With all of this stuff, or lack there of, or the lack of the time to acquire said stuff, do you sometimes suffer from FOMO? (Fear of Missing Out) Facebook is to blame.

     According to sources in Minnesota, you have to pull some men who live in the United States of Surveillance by the genitals, as a successful means to get them to watch the World Cup.

     Ladies and gentlemen, speaking of genitals, you have to hand it to traitor or patriot, depending on your love of surveillance and the never ending War on Terror, that Edward Snowden has massive ones in order to go on NBC and give an exclusive interview with talking head Brian Williams; or it may just be that he is a cleverly disguised CIA plant tip-toeing out the surveillance apparatus for the powers that be to see just how much they can get away with and what the attention deficient American public will put up with.  

     Then there is the proposed $45billion takeover of Time Warner Cable by Comcast, followed by the proposal of AT&T purchasing Direct TV as evidence of the ever approaching consolidation of American corporations eventually becoming one giant Monolith that will own everything and everyone. According to singer Greg Brown, 
                 there's a guru snoozin' in a limousine
                     and a whole industry pumping blood into recycled scenes
                     there'll be one corporation selling one little box
                     it'll do what you want and tell you what you want and cost whatever you got. (Where is Maria)

A Cable, Internet and telephone service cost 10x more in the United States of Surveillance than it does in South Korea, and they have faster speeds!!!

And we thought she was just a material girl.
     Finally, recent studies have shown that the infusion of young blood may reverse the effects of aging; and we thought Dracula was just a spooky story from Victorian England.

     Don’t worry; there is nothing to see here. Heads down as you stare into your phones; we would so hate to have you actually witness the decline of civilization. Ohhhh, invite me again to play Candy Crush Saga, please, pretty please!!!

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